THE UNCOMFORTABLE TRUTH: WHY ONE FEMALE MASSAGE THERAPIST HAS DECIDED TO STOP WORKING WITH MEN
Article by Rodgers Mangwela | KASONDE24
A PROFESSION BUILT ON TRUST, TURNED INTO A SOURCE OF FEAR
Imagine spending almost three decades building a career around helping people relax, recover from physical discomfort and find peace through therapeutic touch. Then, after years of dedication, you reach a point where accepting certain clients becomes more stressful than rewarding.
For one experienced female massage therapist, this is no longer an imaginary situation. It has become her reality.
In a deeply personal account originally published by HuffPost, massage therapist Susan Blackburn explains why she has decided to stop accepting new male clients, despite recognising that men also need the physical and emotional benefits of professional massage therapy.
Her decision is not based on the belief that every man is dangerous. Rather, it comes from years of uncomfortable encounters, inappropriate requests, sexual innuendo and the constant anxiety of wondering whether a new client will respect professional boundaries.
It is a story that raises important questions about workplace safety, sexual harassment and the growing challenges facing professionals whose work involves physical contact with clients.
WHEN A PROFESSIONAL MASSAGE IS MISTAKEN FOR SOMETHING ELSE
Massage therapy is a legitimate professional service with important physical and psychological benefits. It can help relieve muscle tension, improve relaxation and provide comfort to people dealing with physical stress.
However, the profession has an uncomfortable reputation problem.
Blackburn explains that some people confuse legitimate therapeutic massage with commercial sexual services. The widespread use of the word massage by businesses offering sexual services has contributed to misconceptions about what professional massage therapists actually do.
One particularly frustrating example is the familiar question about whether a therapist offers a "happy ending".
Although some clients might consider such comments harmless jokes, they can create an uncomfortable and potentially threatening working environment.
For a professional who has invested years developing the necessary skills, being approached with sexual expectations can feel like a dismissal of everything the profession represents.
Blackburn acknowledges that she previously tolerated some of these jokes instead of confronting them directly. Over time, however, she realised that remaining silent was not making the situation any easier.
THE WARNING SIGNS THAT MADE HER QUESTION EVERY NEW CLIENT
Running an independent massage practice requires more than technical knowledge. It also demands good judgement, client screening and the ability to establish professional boundaries.
Blackburn describes how she attempted to protect herself by introducing several precautions.
She examined prospective clients' online profiles, paid attention to the language they used when making enquiries and considered the type of massage they requested.
She also introduced stricter booking procedures.
These included requesting references, avoiding same-day appointments and requiring new clients to complete detailed intake forms before being accepted.
She made it clear that sexual requests, inappropriate jokes and suggestive comments would result in an immediate termination of the appointment.
Despite these precautions, the anxiety never completely disappeared.
One of the most troubling aspects of her experience was the difficulty of knowing whether someone approaching her for a professional service genuinely wanted treatment or had different intentions.
Even when a client appeared respectable during the booking process, there was no guarantee that the appointment would proceed professionally.
The uncertainty gradually became emotionally exhausting.
SOME EXPERIENCES WERE SIMPLY TOO MUCH TO IGNORE
Among the experiences Blackburn recounts are encounters with men whose behaviour made her uncomfortable and forced her to question her personal safety.
One prospective client wanted her to travel to an isolated hunting cabin for massage sessions, a request she rejected.
Another did not want the appropriate covering over his genitals during treatment, despite professional requirements surrounding modesty and client draping.
There was also a man who requested to leave through the back entrance so that nobody would see him leaving her office.
Individually, these encounters might appear different, but together they contributed to a growing sense of insecurity.
For Blackburn, the problem was no longer simply about dealing with occasional inappropriate comments. It was about entering her workplace without knowing what kind of situation might develop.
She eventually reached a point where even receiving an enquiry from a prospective male client could trigger frustration and anxiety.
THE FINANCIAL SACRIFICE OF CHOOSING PERSONAL SAFETY
There is another side to this story that deserves attention.
For an independent business owner, refusing an entire category of potential customers can have serious financial consequences.
Male clients represent a significant portion of the potential market for massage therapy. Turning them away therefore means sacrificing business opportunities and potentially reducing income.
Blackburn admits that financial pressure sometimes influenced her willingness to accept clients despite reservations.
During quieter business periods, the temptation to overlook warning signs could become stronger because she still needed to earn a living.
This illustrates a difficult reality for many independent professionals: the need to make money can sometimes place personal safety and professional boundaries under pressure.
For years, she discussed these concerns with her therapist, who helped her consider different ways of managing the situation.
Eventually, the suggestion emerged that she could simply restructure her business around female clients.
Initially, Blackburn struggled with the idea because she knew that many men were respectful customers who genuinely valued her services.
However, the possibility of running a practice without constantly worrying about inappropriate behaviour became increasingly attractive.
She finally decided that her peace of mind was worth more than the additional business she might lose.
A WOMEN-FOCUSED BUSINESS AND A NEW SENSE OF FREEDOM
The decision to stop accepting new male clients brought a noticeable change to Blackburn's professional life.
She no longer had to spend so much energy evaluating whether a prospective client might cross professional boundaries.
She could concentrate on providing treatment without constantly worrying about her safety or preparing herself for uncomfortable confrontations.
Interestingly, one new female client expressed appreciation for the fact that the practice was specifically geared towards women, explaining that the arrangement made her feel safe and supported.
For Blackburn, that response reinforced the value of creating a working environment where both the therapist and the client could feel comfortable.
She recognises that some men who would have made excellent clients will now be turned away. Nevertheless, she believes the decision was necessary for her personal well-being.
WHAT DOES THIS MEAN FOR THE MASSAGE THERAPY INDUSTRY?
Blackburn's experience highlights a broader problem that extends beyond massage therapy.
Professionals working in healthcare, beauty, physiotherapy and other occupations involving physical contact can also experience inappropriate behaviour from clients.
The expectation that workers should remain polite, tolerate uncomfortable jokes or protect a business relationship at the expense of their personal boundaries creates an unhealthy working environment.
It is also important to recognise that male massage therapists can experience harassment from clients. The issue is not exclusively about women being targeted, even though the experiences described by Blackburn demonstrate the particular concerns faced by some female practitioners.
Professional boundaries must be respected regardless of the gender of the therapist or the client.
A massage appointment is not an invitation to sexual activity. Consent, dignity and professional conduct remain essential throughout the entire process.
A CONVERSATION THAT DESERVES ATTENTION IN ZAMBIA
Although Blackburn's account comes from the United States, the issues it raises deserve attention in Zambia and across Africa.
Massage services are available through beauty salons, hotels, wellness centres and independent practitioners. As the wellness industry grows, there is a need to establish stronger public understanding of the difference between legitimate therapeutic services and sexual entertainment.
Customers must understand that paying for a massage does not give them permission to make sexual demands, expose themselves inappropriately or touch a therapist without consent.
Business owners also have a responsibility to protect their employees through clear workplace policies, proper client screening and procedures for reporting inappropriate behaviour.
Independent practitioners, particularly those working alone, should not be expected to manage potentially dangerous situations without adequate support.
There is also an important cultural conversation to be had about the way society interprets professional physical contact.
A person receiving a massage is paying for a service intended to support their well-being. The professional providing that service deserves the same dignity and respect afforded to other workers.
THE FINAL WORD: PROFESSIONAL TOUCH SHOULD NEVER COME WITH FEAR
Perhaps the saddest part of Blackburn's story is that she understands the value of the very service she has decided to restrict.
She believes men also benefit from therapeutic touch, relaxation and the emotional connection that can accompany professional massage.
However, knowing that a service is beneficial to society does not mean a practitioner must continue working in an environment where personal safety becomes a constant concern.
Her experience presents an uncomfortable lesson about professional respect.
People should be able to perform their jobs without having to anticipate harassment, defend their boundaries repeatedly or sacrifice their emotional well-being to keep customers happy.
Ultimately, a massage therapist is there to provide treatment, not to fulfil somebody's inappropriate expectations.
And when the workplace stops feeling safe, even a career built around healing can become something a person needs to heal from.
Published by KASONDE24 | Your window to the world.
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